Madcap Monarchs
Six Petty Rulers, One Tiny World
Six tribes, one tiny planet. You don't command them: back one and see if you called it.
The rules, as the rulers tell them
Sir Spreadsalot, on getting startedOur villagers gather plants and rocks. Every five of those buys a warrior, or another villager if you are sensible. I am always sensible.
Chief Boilhard, on fightingLISTEN. Spearmen stab riders. Riders trample archers. Archers shoot spearmen. Three hits and most warriors fall over; villagers, two. Get five kills and you become a CHAMPION, with a GOLDEN LAUREL and everything. And now there are FIREBRANDS, who throw fire at crowds. Don't stand in a crowd. And SNEAKS, who you won't see coming. That's the point of them.
Queen Merlotta, on winningThere are two ways to rule, darling. Be the last tribe standing, or finish your shrine first and let your god do the tidying up.
Captain Zest, on the relicTen minutes in, a relic drops from the sky. Haul it home and your shrine builds twice as fast. Guard it well, though. It gets nicked a lot. Usually by me.
Madam Haggle, on friendshipA dove offers a truce. A crow ends one. Everyone remembers who sent the crow, even in the next game. I would know.
King Drizzlewick, on youYou back one of us. We will write to you privately as things unfold. We also learn from every game, so press Simulate to fast-forward a few and watch us get cleverer. Or soggier.
The troops
VillagerGathers plants and rocks for the village. Two hits and they're down.
SpearmanHolds the line. Beats riders, loses to archers.
ArcherShoots from a distance. Beats spearmen, loses to riders.
RiderFast, and loves raiding villagers. Beats archers, loses to spearmen.
FirebrandThrows fire into crowds from a distance. Spread out!
SneakTurns invisible for up to 30 seconds to stab villagers or steal the relic.
TrebuchetA slow siege engine that hurls stones into crowds of troops from afar. Riders love catching one.
ChampionAny warrior with five kills: tougher, quicker, and wearing the golden laurel. One per tribe at a time.
How to watch
Nobody gets an advantage: every tribe has the same units and the same rules, and only the leaders' choices differ. Drag to spin the planet, scroll to zoom, and click anything in the feed to fly there. The game starts on Auto speed: it hurries through quiet stretches (up to 4×) and slows to normal speed whenever something happens, like a battle, a betrayal or the relic changing hands. Pick a speed yourself to turn Auto off, or click Auto to turn it back on. The clapperboard button makes the camera follow the action for you. Space pauses and resumes; WASD or the arrow keys move the camera, and Q and E zoom out and in.
Free full game · built 7 Oct 2026
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Who's who
Each leader has a favourite way to play. No two leaders play the same way in the same world, so sometimes one has to play against type.
Pick the one you think will end up owning it.